Tagged: daniel murphy superhero
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 62
Daniel was looking around the clubhouse and shook his head. “There sure have been a lot of changes around here,” he thought to himself. “Someone’s here. Then they’re not. Then they’re back. Then they’re not again. Can’t tell the players without a scorecard.”
“Hi Daniel,” Ike Davis said.
“Ike!” Daniel said. “What are you doing here?”
“I just got called back from Las Vegas,” Ike said.
“You did?” Daniel asked.
“Yep. I found my bat.”
“Where did it go?” Daniel asked.
“I’m not sure,” Ike said. “But it’s back…. Hey!!!” Ike Davis suddenly went into a fit. “That’s my locker!”
Daniel looked over and saw Josh Satin, sitting in the locker area that Ike used to occupy.
“You gave me this space, dude,” Josh said.
“I said I’d be back!”
“Hey,” Josh said. “I’ve been hitting. I’m keeping it.”
“You’re a rookie!” Ike said.
“I’m older than you. So nanny, nanny, boo boo!”
Daniel saw that that was quickly getting out of hand. He quickly dashed off and changed into his orange and blue Superhero costume. Moments later, he was back in his orange and blue costume with the cape with the large number 28 trailing behind.
“What seems to be the problem?” Daniel asked.
“Josh stole my locker!” Ike said.
“I did not!” Josh said. “He gave it to me!”
“I only let you borrow it!” Ike said.
“Maybe if you had played better, you wouldn’t have been sent down!”
“Maybe if you want to keep those eyebrows, you’ll give me my locker back!” Ike said.
“Now let’s calm down everybody,” Daniel said. “I’m sure we can work this out.”
“It’s easy to work out,” Ike said. “The rook is going to give me my locker back or he’s going to get a beatdown!”
“Now there’s no need to threaten anyone,” Daniel said.
“It’s not a threat,” Ike said. “It’s a promise!”
“Now settle down, Ike,” Daniel said. “Josh, did Ike give you his locker, or did he say you could borrow it?”
“He said I could borrow it,” Josh said.
“So now that Ike is back, don’t you think you should give it back?”
“Well…” Josh said.
“C’mon, Josh,” Daniel said. “Do the right thing.”
“Well, okay,” Josh said.
“And Ike,” Daniel said. “Don’t you think you overreacted just a little bit? I’m sure if you asked a little nicer, Josh would have given you the locker back right away.”
“Yeah, I guess I went a little overboard,” Ike said.
“Good,” Daniel said. “Now we’re all friends again. Now shake.”
Ike and Josh shook hands.
“My job here is done,” Daniel said.
“Thank you Superhero!” Ike and Josh said.
“You’re welcome,” Daniel said. “And Josh, just remember – if Ike doesn’t hit, you’ll have Ike’s locker back in no time!” With that, the Superhero turned and left.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 61
Daniel Murphy walked into the clubhouse and couldn’t believe what he saw. The entire room was packed and in near silence. The only sound that was coming was from the dull thump, thump, thump of thumbs on smart phones.
“What’s going on?” Daniel asked. A few members of the team looked up.
“Get back to work!” a voice bellowed, followed by a sharp crack. Daniel heard a scream coming from Kirk Nieuwenhuis as he was hit by a whip. “Do you want to get sent back to the minors? I don’t think so!”
“What in tarnation?” Daniel said.
A very attractive middle aged woman spun and glared at Daniel. “Silence!” she said. She looked Daniel up and down and gave him a little smile. “You’re a cute one… perhaps you want the whip as well?”
“Cougar Carol!” Daniel said.
“Have we met?” Cougar Carol said. “I think I would have remembered you.”
Daniel quickly ran out of the room before Cougar Carol could say another word. He quickly grabbed his gym bag and hastily changed into his orange and blue Superhero costume. Moments later, he was rushing back into the clubhouse, his cape with the large number 28 trailing behind, just as the whip was about to strike Jordany Valdespin.
“Keep on voting! Do it! Do it! Do it!” Cougar Carol yelled.
“Stop right there!” Daniel said.
“The Superhero!” Cougar Carol said. “My, my… you’re even more handsome that that young fellow that was just in here. What do you say about going back to my place when I’m finished up over here? I can show you my little kitty.”
“What in the world are you doing?” Daniel asked.
“Sandy hired me to whip these boys into shape. We need to get David Wright into the All Star game and I’m here to help.” She turned and caught out of the corner of her eye that Andrew Recker was staring at her rear end. “Naughty boy!” she said, as she cracked the whip in his direction. “I love my job.”
“Listen Carol,” Daniel said.
“That’s COUGAR Carol,” she corrected.
“Listen Cougar Carol,” Daniel said. “I’m know that we all want David Wright to start the All Star game, but this isn’t the way to do it. We need to stuff the ballot boxes. We need to vote online repeatedly…”
“That’s exactly what I have these boys doing.”
“And it’s greatly appreciated,” Daniel said. “But David specifically asked to keep the Cougars out of it. If you want to help vote him in, that’s great. If you want to encourage all your Cougar friends to vote him in, that’s even better. But we can’t have you whipping the entire team and scaring them into voting for David.”
“I’m not scared,” Marlon Byrd said.
“I actually kind of like it,” Andrew Brown said.
“Cougar Carol is pretty hot,” Josh Edgin said.
“See?” Cougar Carol said, smiling. “They like it. You just might, too… if you give it a chance.”
“That’s not the point,” Daniel said. “Please just tone it down.”
“Fine,” Cougar Carol said. “Anyone who wants to stop is free to go. Anyone who wants to stay and continue voting while I’m standing here holding this, feel free also.”
No one moved. A couple of players giggled, but they all kept on tapping away on their smart phones.
“Well,” Daniel said. “I guess my work here is done.”
“And mine is just beginning,” Cougar Carol said. “Now back to work!”
Daniel just shook his head and walked out of the clubhouse.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 59
Daniel Murphy was in the clubhouse when his cell phone rang. He looked at the number. It was Jay Horwitz.
“Probably another butt dial,” Daniel said. He ignored the call.
A few minutes later, his phone rang again. He looked at the number. Jay Horwitz again. A few minutes later, another ring.
“Jay,” Daniel said. “You have to stop with the butt dialing.”
“Hi Daniel,” Jay said on the other end. “I wasn’t but dialing. I needed to reach you.”
“Oh,” Daniel said. “Sorry. What can I do for you?”
“You’re good friends with the Superhero, right?” Jay said.
“Yes,” Daniel said.
“I need you to get a hold of him for me.”
“Do you mind if I ask why?” Daniel asked.
“We’re looking for another arm for our bullpen. Sandy wanted to give him a tryout.”
“You want the Superhero to pitch out of the pen?”
“It can’t hurt,” Jay said.
“What about getting another bat?” Daniel asked. “That’s what this team really needs.”
“Can he hit?” Jay asked.
“Can the Superhero hit? Does a duck like water?”
“What position does he play?”
“He’s a natural infielder,” Daniel said. “He’s tried a bit of the outfield, but he’s much better in the infield. And he’s a Doubles Hitting Machine. Just like me.”
“Have you seen him in the cage?” Jay asked.
“The dude can rake,” Daniel said. “If the Superhero was on the All Star ballot, it would be a travesty if he weren’t voted in as a starter.”
“Who do you think would get more votes? The Superhero or David Wright?” Jay asked.
“Now this is no knock on David, but the Superhero would and should be the leading vote getter. Not only can he rake, not only can he field, but the ladies love him.”
“He is quite charismatic,” Jay admitted.
“I’ll have the Superhero give Sandy a call,” Daniel said. “He’s open to a long term contract.”
“I’ll pass on the word,” Jay said. “Thanks for your help.”
“Anytime,” Daniel said.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 58
Daniel was in the clubhouse when he heard a high pitched scream.
“What in the world can that be?” he said to himself.
Moments later, there was another scream. And another. And another.
“Damsels in distress!” Daniel said. “This is a job for the Superhero!”
In a flash, Daniel grabbed his gym bag and ran to an empty storage closet. Moments later, he was changed, and rushing off in the direction of the terrible screams in his orange and blue Superhero costume and cape with the large number 28 on the back trailing behind.
“Have no fear! The Superhero is…” Daniel stopped. “Uh… what’s going on?”
Standing on the table were Shaun Marcum, John Buck, Anthony Recker, and Robert Carson. They were all quaking in fear and pointing at the ground.
“Was that you I heard screaming?” Daniel said.
“Superhero!” John Buck said. “It was awful!”
“You’re just in the nick of time!” Anthony Recker said.
“Please help us!” Robert Carson said.
“What in tarnation is the problem?” Daniel Murphy said.
“It’s a mouse!!!” Shaun Marcum screamed.
“You’re going nuts over a mouse?” Daniel said.
Before any of the men on the table had a chance to answer, the doors burst open and a masked figure in a green costume came flying in.
“Where ever there is trouble, Q shall save the day!” he said.
“I have a handle on this, Q,” Daniel said.
“Wait!” Q said. “I think I found our problem!” Q reached under the table and picked up a furry little mouse. “Here’s the little guy. He’s not so scary, is he?”
“Hey,” Robert Carson said. “He’s actually kind of cute.”
“I was scared of that?” Anthony Recker said.
“Awww,” John Buck said. “He’s actually quite adorable.”
“Thank you Q!” Shaun Marcum said. “You’re the best!”
“Hey!” Daniel Murphy said. “What about me? I was here first!”
Before anyone had a chance to answer, Matt Harvey came storming in with a scowl on his face. Everyone knew he was grouchy on days when he starts, but today he was looking particularly grumpy.
“Where’s my Fastball!?! Has anyone seen my @%$!ing Fastball!?!”
Matt Harvey spotted Q, who was holding the little mouse.
“Fastball!” Matt said. “You went running off again!” He snatched the little mouse from Q’s hands and stormed off.
“A thank you would be nice,” Q said.
“Don’t mind him,” John Buck said. “He’s just like that on game days.”
“My job here is done,” Q said. “Glad I can be of assistance!” Before anyone could get a good look at him, he was gone.
“We’re lucky Q was here to save the day!” Robert Carson said. “What would we ever have done without him?”
“Yeah,” Daniel Murphy said to himself. “Real lucky.” Daniel turned and walked out of the room with his head down. No one noticed.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 56
After dropping two games on Saturday on a very cold, windy night, Daniel didn’t sleep very well. He lay in his bed, tossing and turning.
I told you I would haunt you… he heard a voice whisper in the darkness.
“Go away, Larry,” Daniel said.
I’m going to give you the tomahawk chop…
“Larry, I’m trying to sleep,” Daniel said.
Your Superhero powers cannot help you now…
Daniel sat up in bed, clearly getting annoyed. “Look, Larry. I know you like to think you’re the one responsible for us losing this weekend. We may not be scoring runs. We may be losing a lot of games. But it has absolutely nothing to do with you. This team just stinks. So take your retired rear-end to the Hall of Fame and leave me alone and let me get some sleep!”
“Hey!” the Ghost of Larry said, no longer whispering and sounding hurt. “You don’t have to be so mean! I’m just trying to have some fun with you.”
“I’m not in the mood for fun,” Daniel said. “I’m tired of losing. I’m tired of your antics. And I’m tired of you! Now get out of my room and let me get some sleep!”
“Well,” the Ghost of Larry said. “If you’re going to be like that! I’m going!”
“Ugh,” Daniel Murphy said, rolling over. “I can’t stand that guy.”
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 55
Daniel arrived in the clubhouse and couldn’t believe what he saw. Scattered all over the table were a bunch of Las Vegas tourist brochures. The Mandalay Bay Shark Reef. Sun Buggy Desert Racing. The Gold and Silver Pawn Shop. A bunch of ones with pictures of bosomy women posed at various angles and in stages of dress. Daniel paused and looked at one of the latter for a few moments, but then his outrage took over.
“Who’s Vegas brochures are these?” Daniel asked loudly. No one answered.
Then he spotted Ike Davis in the corner. He was thumbing through a “Win at Las Vegas Blackjack” book and stormed over.
“Ike!” Daniel said. “What are you doing?”
“Just getting ready,” Ike said. “I’m sure they’ll be sending me off any day. If I can’t hit a lick, maybe my luck will be better at the tables.”
My teammate needs me! Daniel thought. He grabbed his gym bag and ran over to an empty storage closet. Moments later, he was dressed in his orange and blue Superhero costume and was rushing back toward Ike, the cape with the large number 28 trailing behind.
“Ike Davis!” the Superhero said. “Put down that book right now!”
“Oh, hi Superhero,” Ike said. “What’s up?”
“Put down that book!” Daniel said.
“Why?” Ike said. “We both know i’m being sent to Las Vegas.”
“That’s not a certainty, young slugger! You don’t know that for sure.”
“Who are we kidding?” Ike said.
“Don’t you remember the time we saved you from the gnomes?” Daniel said.
“Yes,” Ike said. “And I’m very thankful for that. But I doubt the gnomes are even thinking about me now.”
“I bet that scared you pretty good,” Daniel said.
“It did,” Ike said.
“Have you ever thought maybe that’s why you’re stinking up the joint?” Daniel said. “You’re so afraid of being kidnapped by the gnomes that your subconscious is making you strike out?”
“That’s not it,” Ike said.
“How do you know?” Daniel said.
“Because I’ve already spoken to someone about it,” Ike said.
“Who?”
“Dr. Phil,” Ike said. “He said something about chickens in a henhouse don’t cause eggs to be scrambled or something like that. Then he handed me a copy of his new book, Lifecode, and reminded me that it’s through his son’s publishing company.”
“Did he say anything else?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah,” Ike said. “He said to stop swinging at bad pitches.”
“Well there,” Daniel said. “You should listen to Dr. Phil. In the meantime, I’ll take this.” Daniel reached out and plucked the blackjack book out of Ike’s hands. “I’ll also be getting rid of these.” Daniel grabbed all the tourist brochures and threw them in the garbage.
“Aren’t you going to get rid of those?” Ike asked, pointing to the ads with pictures of the women on them.
“I’ll hold onto these,” Daniel said. “We don’t want these to end up in the wrong hands. Anyway, my work here is done. Remember, Ike. Listen to what Dr. Phil said. Stop swinging at bad pitches.”
With that, the Superhero was gone.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 54
Daniel Murphy was about to enter the visitor’s clubhouse in Chicago when he saw someone who looked out of place.
“I need to investigate this,” Daniel said to himself. He ducked around the corner and reached into his gym bag, which was already in hand. He pulled out his orange and blue Superhero costume and moments later, he was running back towards the figure.
“Halt! Who goes there?” Daniel said.
The bespeckled figure turned and looked at the Superhero. Daniel thought he looked very familiar.
“Hey…” Daniel said. “Don’t I know you?”
“Uh, no…” the person fumbled. “You don’t know me at all. I’m serious. You really don’t.”
Daniel looked at him closely. Glasses. Check. Blue hat with the letter “C”. Check. Earphones. Check. Sweatshirt covering up a green turtleneck. Check. “Hey!” Daniel said. “You’re Steve Bartman!”
“Um… no,” the person said. “I get that all the time. I mean, I look a lot like him, but I’m not him at all. Really. I’m not him. I’m being serious.”
“I think you are Steve Bartman!” Daniel said.
“Shhh!!!” Steve said. “Okay, okay, I’m Steve Bartman. Just don’t say it so loudly!”
“So what are you doing by the visitor’s clubhouse, Steve?”
“If you must know, I’m trying to help my team,” Steve said.
“How?”
“I’m part of the curse. I figured if I hung out by the visitor’s clubhouse, maybe some of the curst will rub off on the other team and we’ll one day win again. Then, and maybe then, I can show my face in the stands again,” Steve said.
“How long have you been doing this, Steve?” Daniel asked.
“Every home stand since 2004.”
“And has it worked?”
“Well, no. But I’m going to keep on trying!” Steve said.
“Listen, Steve. I feel for you. I really do. But this isn’t the way to do it.”
“But I just want to see my team win so badly,” Steve said. “I can’t stand being an outcast!”
“I tell you what,” Daniel said. “I’m pretty good friends with that strapping young second baseman Daniel Murphy. How about we get you a good disguise and we’ll find you a seat in the bleachers where no one will ever look for you?”
“You’ll do that for me?” Steve said.
“Yes,” Daniel said. “I know it’s not easy when everyone is against you.”
“Gee, thanks Superhero!”
Not too long afterward, Steve Bartman found himself in the center field bleachers, wearing a fake wig, mustache and glasses and a bright orange t-shirt sitting among 500 other screaming and yelling fans that made the trip from New York.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 53
Daniel arrived at the ballpark and heard quite a commotion.
“What’s gong on?” he asked Ruben Tejada.
“Terry just caused a ruckus,” Ruben said.
“Uh oh,” Daniel said. “What happened?”
“He just said that he doesn’t answer to the fans,” Ruben said.
“Oh, boy,” Daniel said. “This could get ugly.” Daniel pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Let’s see what twitter is saying… oh, crap.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” Ruben said.
“It’s not,” Daniel said. “My manager needs me. This is a job for the Superhero!”
Daniel reached into his gym bag and pulled out his orange and blue Superhero costume. Seconds later, he was changed and was running off towards the manager’s office. Ruben Tejada, who had also donned the costume of El Once was right behind.
“Mr. Collins!” Daniel said, barging in “Are you okay?”
“It’s the Superhero!” Terry said. “Am I glad to see you! I’ve had the most terrible day. They kept on asking me questions about Jordany Valdespin and I just got so gosh darn frustrated I put my foot right in my mouth!”
“We know,” Ruben said. “We saw that they were saying on twitter.”
“I didn’t mean to upset so many people,” Terry said. “I just wish that the fans understood that I’m trying as hard as I can.”
“We know you are, Mr. Collins,” Daniel said.
“But I wish the fans knew. It wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t care so much,” Terry said.
“So why don’t you tell them?” Ruben said.
“Do you think that will help?” Terry Collins said.
“It can’t hurt at this point,” Daniel said. “But you have to do it the Howard Stern way. You have to be self deprecating. People relate to that.”
“That sounds like a great idea!” Terry said. He called Jay Horwitz and asked for another press conference immediately. A few minutes later, the press was gathered for an additional pre-game interview.
“What I said before was stupid,” Terry said. “I didn’t mean that I don’t care about what the fans say. I love the fans. They care about this team just as much if not more than I do and I completely get it that they’re frustrated. We’ve had too many losing seasons in a row and we’re off to a bad start. To everyone I’ve offended, I’m truly sorry. Right now, I shouldn’t be wearing this cap, I should be wearing this one.”
Terry reached under the table and pulled out a dunce cap. He put it on his head and got a big laugh from the press corps. “Are there any questions?”
At the other end of the room, the Superhero and El Once smiled. “Well done, Mr. Collins,” Daniel said. “Well done.”
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 52
After losing three straight to Pittsburgh, the team was feeling rather down. The mood in the clubhouse as everyone was getting ready for the charter flight to St. Louis was not exactly chipper, to say the least.
“Our season’s over,” Daniel heard a sad teammate say.
“Who said that?” Daniel said.
No one answered.
“Who said it’s over?” Daniel said.
Again, no answer. Daniel knew what he had to do. He grabbed his gym bag and ran out of the clubhouse and into a spare storage closet. He pulled out his orange and blue Superhero costume, and within moments, he was changed and quickly running back into the clubhouse, the cape withe large number 28 trailing behind.
“Rumor has it someone is saying it’s over,” Daniel said.
“It’s the Superhero!” David Wright said.
“Yes, it is I,” Daniel said. “I just have one thing to say. Nothing is over until we say it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”
“Uh, Superhero,” David said. “You’re quoting Animal House.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Daniel said. “You get the point. You’re all baseball players! There’s no crying in baseball!”
“A League of Their Own!” Bobby Parnell chirped in.
“It’s time to start playing with some heart! You didn’t come into to this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya?”
“Wait,” Lucas Duda said. “Let me think… I’m not sure which one that’s from.”
“You just got lesson number one,” Daniel said. “Don’t think. It can only hurt the ball club.”
“Bull Durham!” Dillon Gee said.
“It’s time to start playing like a team!” Daniel said.
“Yep!” David Wright said. “We’ve got uniforms and everything! It’s really great!”
“You’re in the major leagues!” Daniel said. “Start acting like it!”
With that, the Superhero turned and left. The road trip would tell if his little pep talk worked.
Daniel Murphy: Superhero – Episode 50
After Mike Baxter hit the game winning hit in the bottom of the tenth for the walk off win, Daniel Murphy made his way into the clubhouse with a big smile on his face. He knew what he had to do. He made his way to his locker while the rest of the team was celebrating the victory. He reached into his gym bag and pulled out his orange and blue Superhero costume.
By the time the rest of the team started filtering down into the clubhouse, Superhero Murphy was waiting.
No one noticed our favorite Superhero at first. Everyone was paying attention to the man of the hour, Matt Harvey.
Daniel just watched the party that was going on in the clubhouse and smiled. He didn’t mind going unnoticed. It wasn’t about him. He saw what had happened on the field over the previous couple of hours. He knew something special when he saw it.
Finally, Daniel was noticed.
“Hey!” Jordany Valdespin said. “It’s the Superhero! I’m wearing my cup!”
“Glad to hear it,” Daniel said. “Where’s Matt?”
“He’s there!” Jordany said, pointing to the center of a mass of people. Daniel couldn’t see Matt, but he had no doubt he was in the middle of it all.
Daniel made his way over to the crowd. “Stand aside, fair citizens! Superhero coming through!”
As the bodies parted, Daniel saw Matt, who had a huge grin on his face. “Superhero! How the hell are you! Woo hoo!!!”
Definitely a better greeting than last time, Daniel thought to himself.
“I see you had your Fastball tonight,” Daniel said.
“Hell yeah!” Matt said, grinning ear to ear.
“I have something for you,” Daniel said. He reached into his cape and pulled out another one and presented it to Matt. “Today, you are an honorary Superhero,” Daniel said as he draped the cape over Matt’s shoulders.
“This is awesome!” Matt said, looking over his shoulder and admiring the large number 33 on the back.
“My work here is done,” Daniel said. Before anyone could get a good look at him, Superhero Murphy was gone.
Why Did My Dad Make Me a Mets Fan? 