Daniel Murphy was driving on his way to Jacksonville University to visit his old college baseball coach Terry Alexander when he saw an old woman in distress.
“Oh no!” the old woman said. “My kitty cat is stuck up in the tree! Somebody help me!”
“A damsel in distress!” Daniel said to himself. “This sounds like a job for…” then he stopped mid sentence. He couldn’t help but notice the old woman was wearing a red cap with the letter “P”.
Daniel Murphy found himself quickly stuck in the horns of a dilemma. “Do I help this old woman or not?” As every other super hero in the history of super heroism has found him or herself facing a monumental moral decision, so did our own hero. It didn’t take Daniel long to make up his mind. “And old woman in need is an old woman in need. I must help her.”
Daniel quickly reached into his gym bag and pulled out his orange and blue superhero suit and changed in the car. Moments later, he was racing to the aid of the old woman – his cape with the large number 28 trailing behind.
“Help me! Help me! My poor kitty is stuck up in the tree!”
Daniel looked up, and indeed – there was a cat in the tree. “Fear not. I can handle this.” He began to climb the tree and thanks to his athletic prowess, he was near the stranded feline in seconds.
The cat in the tree, however, didn’t take to kindly to the blue and orange clad superhero. As Daniel drew within an arms length, the cat hissed and swatted at our hero.
“You’re scaring my poor kitty! Please be gentle! He’s frightened!”
“Yes, ma’am,” Daniel said. The cat hissed and swatted again. Daniel deftly avoided the bared claws. “Got… to… get… this… damn… cat…” Daniel said under his breath.
“What did you say about my cat?” the old lady below said, sounding annoyed.
“Great,” Daniel thought. “There’s nothing wrong with the old lady’s hearing.”
Then suddenly and without warning, the cat let out an angry hiss and leapt at Daniel. The cat landed on his face and dug it’s claws into Daniel’s shoulders.
“Owwww!!!!” Daniel yelled. He lost his grip on the branch and crashed to the ground.
The cat landed in its feet and looked at Daniel lying in a heap on the ground. If cats could smile, this one was definitely smiling at him. It walked over to the old lady and wrapped itself up in her feet.
“My poor, poor Utley. Did that big old man in the mask scare you? C’mon now, let’s go home and get you a big bowl of milk.” The old lady turned and walked away, leaving Daniel on the ground.
Daniel got up and dusted himself off. He was thankfully unhurt.
“No need to thank me,” he said to himself. “I’m glad to just be of help.”